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God's Girl
Huilun
13.10.1992
Singapore Life Church
GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU





Provided by International Bible Society


Thursday, June 23, 2011
forgotten

okay, i guess i havent blogged in a while. the usual reasons, too busy, too lazy and when i have smth to blog abt i'm too tired. when i dun i feel like blogging but i dun really think there is a point since i think no body really reads my blog.

so, forgotten. not that i forgot my blog or anything- i still visit it from time to time to see who the hell visits. hahaha. okay. i know candice visits my blog. but i think only her. haha. i think cause she blog hops an i'm so honoured she still checks up on my blog. hahaha. but like if i dun blog i know ppl stop checking so its fine to post this? :D hahahahaha.

idk why, i never ever get to keep a best friend. i have had many best friends and many close friends. almost every year i realised my best friend changes. given now i dun go school cause its holidays, i dun have a consistent best friend. i could list them all out actually. some were even best friends at different points of time. not even the whole year.

i dont remember primary 4 and below but i can still say a few names-
before everything probably sean.
primary 4 and 5: janice, yi lian and lijun
primary 5 to 6: calysta and olivia
sec 1: sean, nick, yiren, dora, dawn
sec2: sean, nick, charis, wenliang, weijing, yizhen, xinyi
sec3: sean nick yizhen xinyi weijing juntian yuxiu
sec4: juntian yuxiu sean nick weijing
J1: jeannette ziyi prissy dora candice kerin
J2: jeannette ziyi

idk, i think mostly sean is my consistent friend who i can rely on. but then again we are both busy w our own lives. but he is there for me whenever i need him.

i know i have ziyi, but i sometimes i wished i had this consistent best friend w me all the while. like jeannette has this best friend from sec sch that she alw meets up and etc. i think last time i was alwthe person who organised outings and was the person who just asked occasionally "hey, whatcha up to recently?" but i just got tired along the way i guess. like i stopped trying. and none of my friends bothered to pick up the pieces i think. i alw felt i'm somehow the person that keeps trying. and when i get tired i kinda give up. so i guess now i have like many friends who know so much abt me. bits and pieces of me everywhere. and i loved every single person that i gave a bit of myself to.

but maybe thats why ppl dun really care for shit after a while. haha. most ppl i get close to alw tell me they feel safer w me around. like when they are gonna do smth big i'm the person to go to for safety net. idk why. somebody pls tell me why i let you feel safe?!

idk la, maybe i'm just ranting or maybe somehow in my happy jovial side there is this dark sad emo side that feels dejected and forgotten. i dun really understand how some of my friends can simply just leave me out. but i guess thats what i am, the touch and go friend and to them i'll alw be this friend that was there for them.

maybe it is good in a sense? i found what my use is on earth. one of my talents given by God is the fact that i give ppl support when they need it? but i still feel quite forgotten and rejected sometimes. like sometimes i will see smth on fb den click it den realised they forgot me, or just assumed i was busy or just didnt bother asking. den i'll be like "haiyo... again...." den i'll click the photo and comment "oh! hahaha. so funny! when was this!!!!"

:( but i shouldnt be complaining right, given i have ziyi <3
but even w a boyfriend i believe in having a balanced life w my outside friends and his friends. so i really dun appreciate having a life w just him alone. i mean i like it but i rather i had a balanced life w my friends right. AIYA. dunno la. maybe its just a phase. but i just know i feel kinda forgotten by my friends sometimes casue like i have experienced incidences when i'm right in front of them and they like never see me. that is just to my face whatthhell. den i still have to go like " HEYYY!!! :D" w a big fat smile. but like whatthehell.

AIYA. FORGET ME LA. AT LEAST I STILL GOT ZIYI.

but like i said b4, when i leave a peice of me w you, i hope you at least treat me w a bit of respect even if you forgot me and left me out. at least treat me like a normal human being not ignore my presence right. grahhh. whatever.