CHRIST THE LORD;;my saviour

Thursday, May 21, 2009

"…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)
indeed, that is true, i tell u God is SO AMAZING. really, i was so pissed just now, den i all of a sudden dunno thought of the verseoftheday.com website, so i went there and saw THIS:

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
— Philippians 1:21 (NIV)"

den i was like God are u telling me something? so i carry on reading the devotion material:

Thoughts on Today's Verse...

The ultimate question in each of our lives is simply this: do we have something to live for that is also worth dying for? Paul's answer is "Yes!" Christ is the answer, the reason, and the hope. Now if we can get our wills and our hearts to line up with our commitments, we can make that same statement, too!

My Prayer...

O Lord, please forgive me for the things I have done or have said that have made the work of Christ in me more difficult to see. For as many years as you give me on this earth, I want my life to be a living testimony to Jesus and his powerful grace. I do look forward, dear Father, to the day that Christ comes in victory to bring me home to you. Until that day, please use me in your service. I am thankful that no matter what may lie ahead, I know that my future is tied to your Son and my Savior. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

so i had devotion in like honestly a long time, and i have been having like very bad temper and all as well as a lot of bumps i've met these few days, just pissing me off, all of a sudden i felt an urge to look for more verses, so i googled some random thing and the verse on top on strength popped out, i was so touched, cause right now, this is really what i need, SERIOUSLY. i really need God's strength to pull through what i'm going through now, if not i'll just burst like a bubble. i'm really so tired from all the crap i've been receiving lately and all, just seeing this verse actually almost brought me to tears, i just i dunno felt so relieved after seeing this. like all of a sudden the burden, the tension, the tireness gone and i feel like i can do more. but its already so late, i dunno what can be done to save our asses from tml's situation, i'm really just gonna leave this to God now. this situation really just reminds me how useless we are, how incapable we are compared to God. and i really hope tml will turn out fine. i really need God right now. :( i'm such a bad christian, need God everytime i need him the most, and take him for granted after some time. i must change this! i changed it b4 i can do it once more! FOR GOD I LIVE :)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

miss halfway

suddenly feel kinda like miss halfway! haha. just like the song from grey's
sorry but the video is loong, couldnt find anything shorter than this.

Miss Halfway
You oughta hear the mirror in my house
You oughta fear her pretty, pretty mouth
Says I’m imperfect in every way:
“Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway”

All my friends in L.A. got jobs on Melrose Place
I play Replacements songs and sigh-- a Waitress In The Sky

You oughta hear the things I’ve been thinking
You oughta swim in a heart that is sinking
You try to break me with all the things you say:
“Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway”

Tony makes 60 K, invests in IRA’s,
But I’m busy making paper airplanes out of resumes

But I’m gonna burn, I’m gonna shine and multiply
I’m gonna fill up the great divide
You’ll never break me with all the things you say
“Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway”

I’m gonna burn a pie now and then
And I’m gonna say the wrong things to your friends
I’m gonna burn and shine and multiply
And when I do, you’re gonna see me in her eyes…

I’m gonna burn and shine and multiply
I’m gonna fill up the great divide
You’ll never break me with all the things you say
Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway
Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway
Miss Halfway, Miss Halfway, Miss Halfway …

haha. oh wells, haha. nobody is perfect aye?
haha. so much homework so little time.
and yet i am falling ill. coughing my lungs out now :(
kinda sad at a sudden revelation on some thing lar. haha.
one problem better, another comes up. why cant my life be fine and dandy. den it hits me, cause i'm a christian. haha. so many trials. i shall face it with God as my sheild, or rather like this morning's sermon, for i am imperfect and a horrid sinner, i pray that God be ever so merciful and just be by my side. haha.
oh wells, bygones be bygones, the future holds much more. haha. i guess/hope.

anyways, saddd, till i can be emo! haha, cause FINLAND TRIP CANCELED. funny how life is filled with all these little ups and downs, i'm so upset. was so looking forward toit den again, cause now finland trip cancle i can go church camp, so there was a silver lining, and can feel God's plan i guess!
i shall go sleep now, drowsy medicine is killing me.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

terrible terrible flu!

i've got a terrible flu. nose is killing me. but i can still sing, so its alright.
had 5 stations today! i can get GOLD again. yay. :) just need 2.4 timing. hahaha. WHEEE.
deproved though, i feel. ghahaha.
46 - sit-ups (A)
40 - inclined pull ups(A)
11.3sec - shuttle run(A)
48cm - sit and reach (cant rmber i think B or smth)
1?? - standing board jump (cant rmber, just know its a C!) haha.

den 2.4 usually i get like 13 to 14 minutes, so that means, either a B or A. henceforth, i will get Gold, most prob. :)

anyways, new songs stuck in my head, one that struck me the most was Breathe by Anna Nalik

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,Hypocrites.
You're all here for the very same reason'

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
"Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.and breathe,
just breathe
woah breathe,
just breathe,Oh breathe,
just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

CHOIR GOT GOLD WITH HONOURS FOR SYF. i a, so grateful to GOD. seriously :)
I LOVE MR TOH& TEACHERS. they really gave a lot for us.

but that aside, i cant blog happy stuff when i am not really happy now. soo...

i really wish i could just say to myself this is just in God's plan and i need not worry about this matter, but this is not getting anywhere better, i feel like i've been left stranded on an island, and you've moved on, but on the opposite direction, a different direction from me. and everytime i try to jump onto your island i am pushed back into the sea. i feel like i keep getting thrown off board, making me have to struggle, swimming back to the safe haven of my own, but you havent seen my side of the island, u do not know that recently my island is filled with monsters and everything and i battle them out everyday, trying not to worry about you. but sometimes i wonder if i was too late in noticing this was coming i felt it was, but i ignored it. i should have trusted my intuition. i should not have done anything to bridge our islands at the 1st place, i should not even have approached you through that bridge. i should not have let my defences down. i should not have done any of this. this is just causing worry for me, making me feel insecure, a failure as what i am supposed to be to you. and i thorn in your life. if u seriously don't wanna talk to me, just say. if u seriously hate me but don't wanna admit it to me, just do. cause i rather i know why our bridge is burnt and why i keep drowning everytime i attempt to hop onto your island. i wanna know at least why so i can at least think about what happened. and try to mend it. you are not telling me anything, and it brings me to tears. tesday was good, i cried everything out. i never cry in public easily. but i cried cause of my test and you. and then i cried even harder when i realised there was so many monsters i still have to get rid of. i am weak. i am nothing without God. i thank him a million times that at least i still have him, minwei and some school friends. so many things around me seems to be collapsing to not go in the right direction. i feel as if i'm being consumed in a fire, so hot, so strong, but yet it burns only my skin and flesh, slowly, and painfully. i wish this pain would just go away. God give me the strength to pull through i know i can only find the strength from you. the more i know the more i know it'll pain me. but i rather feel awlful now den later. at least i can do smth. i want to do smth. please let me. tell me your wearies and your woes. tell me what's disturbing you. tell me why u give me that heart-stabbing expression. tell me why. don't runaway from this problem, don't let what u fear win, oversome it, and u will be victorious over it. and u will know u can face even more next time. i know u have the capacity to. tell me, please talk to me. normally.