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God's Girl
Huilun
13.10.1992
Singapore Life Church
GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU

Daily Manna from the 'Net for Friday, April 18



Provided by International Bible Society


Sunday, May 10, 2009

CHOIR GOT GOLD WITH HONOURS FOR SYF. i a, so grateful to GOD. seriously :)
I LOVE MR TOH& TEACHERS. they really gave a lot for us.

but that aside, i cant blog happy stuff when i am not really happy now. soo...


i really wish i could just say to myself this is just in God's plan and i need not worry about this matter, but this is not getting anywhere better, i feel like i've been left stranded on an island, and you've moved on, but on the opposite direction, a different direction from me. and everytime i try to jump onto your island i am pushed back into the sea. i feel like i keep getting thrown off board, making me have to struggle, swimming back to the safe haven of my own, but you havent seen my side of the island, u do not know that recently my island is filled with monsters and everything and i battle them out everyday, trying not to worry about you. but sometimes i wonder if i was too late in noticing this was coming i felt it was, but i ignored it. i should have trusted my intuition. i should not have done anything to bridge our islands at the 1st place, i should not even have approached you through that bridge. i should not have let my defences down. i should not have done any of this. this is just causing worry for me, making me feel insecure, a failure as what i am supposed to be to you. and i thorn in your life. if u seriously don't wanna talk to me, just say. if u seriously hate me but don't wanna admit it to me, just do. cause i rather i know why our bridge is burnt and why i keep drowning everytime i attempt to hop onto your island. i wanna know at least why so i can at least think about what happened. and try to mend it. you are not telling me anything, and it brings me to tears. tesday was good, i cried everything out. i never cry in public easily. but i cried cause of my test and you. and then i cried even harder when i realised there was so many monsters i still have to get rid of. i am weak. i am nothing without God. i thank him a million times that at least i still have him, minwei and some school friends. so many things around me seems to be collapsing to not go in the right direction. i feel as if i'm being consumed in a fire, so hot, so strong, but yet it burns only my skin and flesh, slowly, and painfully. i wish this pain would just go away. God give me the strength to pull through i know i can only find the strength from you. the more i know the more i know it'll pain me. but i rather feel awlful now den later. at least i can do smth. i want to do smth. please let me. tell me your wearies and your woes. tell me what's disturbing you. tell me why u give me that heart-stabbing expression. tell me why. don't runaway from this problem, don't let what u fear win, oversome it, and u will be victorious over it. and u will know u can face even more next time. i know u have the capacity to. tell me, please talk to me. normally.