CHRIST THE LORD;;my saviour

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

omg.
i feel awful.
i wld lyk to keep tis personal 1st.
i dunno who i'll tell 1st.
outta the few of them.
i dun even noe i can relate to them anymore.
omg.
am i juz emo or is it the pressure of many other tings adding up.
i feel invisible.
i feel neglected.
i feel hated.
i feel EXTRA.

seriously. isit me?
why am i feeling tis way when i'm arnd all u guys.
all 6 of u.
all of u.
i feel so................... dumb?
actually the reason to why i've not been blogging recently is partly coz of that.

it is in tis situatuation->
i'm happy after a day of fun/or wadeva
i go home.
i serve the net.
i see sumting,
i get depp.
and i dun feel lyk bloggin anymore.

so diff to smile, lauff.
ugh.
plue the ruiqi incident.
God help me.
i'm in depp, anger and dilemma.

why is it that everyting juz has to come ALL at once.
wad did i do..?
life is so.... depp....

i wish all of tis wld stop.
i wish all of tis wld dissipating.
i feel lyk burying myself in deep wallow.
but dun tink it'll help.
i shall remain strong.
i shall ignore all of these..?
i shall..??

wadz more, i'm failing all my tests.
well not fail lar.
below my expectation.
eng- cant rmber.
chi - very low (cant rmber)
chem- dun even rmber if i've taken the test.
bio - 17/30 (i 4got to bring my txbk home)
phy - coming soon..
A ma - 1st test: 1/20 2nd test: coming soon
E ma - 1st test: 11/20 or 25 2nd test: coming soon

and stupid ruiqi.
stupid ruiqi.
stupid ruiqi.

i shall distract myself by studying and concentrating on my tests.

i wanna CRY!!!!

depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression depression

life.....
haix.

all behaving the same way
all doin the same ting
i tot tis wld never happen TIS time.
not TIS time.
never tot TIS time.
i always tot it'll last longer.
it aint working!!
i wanna scream at the problems stomp on it!
and walk off cursing the bloody problems!
i'm forgotten..??

dear Lord, help me go through tis dilemma. help me find out b4 jumping into other conclusions. help me to be able to actually distract myself 1st. help me to be able to pass thru tis tough situation. help me understand it better next time. help me be able to hold down my anger wth ruiqi. cant help it. she's irritating. but help meto be able to pass thru tis day w/o anymore worries, problems bugging me. help me to mber dat i can always turn to u. help me to rmber dat i hv other ***** and i can tun to them. and they will be patient wth my stupid self and dat i may pay attention in class more often. dat i may learn to cope thru these situations sooner or later. thank you Lord for guidingme thru tis day and yesterday and tomolo. in Jesus's name i pray, Amen.