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God's Girl
Huilun
13.10.1992
Singapore Life Church
GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU





Provided by International Bible Society


Friday, January 02, 2009

ohmygosh. although i'm not at school i still have so much things to deal with! grahh!
my brother, CJchoir, EPA mtgs, church stuff. again, same as usual, i have totally 0% of my time for my social life, i already made appointments with my friends, in which i sorta owed them, cause in a way i didnt go out with any of them since mid yrs like that, i finally went out with gid and wicheng only and i now have to cancel my plans with charis and yuxiu and again with gid and minwei for dinner tonight. and with huiyu and ms ng for the CCA niche selection thingie, there is so much i can say to the Sec1s during their orientation! i really wanna go, i really wanna go and talk to them and all.

though i might sound like a silly sec4 that cant let go of her disgusting secondary school life and keep going back, at least it is doing smth i enjoy! sure i do enjoy my other commitments, but it is still a freaking transition i'm not used to yet okay? sheesh. UNDERSTAND THAT. i'm not used to sudden practices and all, i'm used to fixed practices, okay, since i have given up my time and all and said okay, i'll join and i'll commit, but i havent exactly fit in if u look carefully, i havent exactly stepped out of my comfort zone, i am getting there, but not yet, so can u please just give me a freaking moment to rant and sort out my thoughts and priorities?

yes, i've made this commitment, so i shall go for choir, nothing else said, i shall.
just go because i've made a new commitment and i shall continue with it. calling the teacher and telling her that i still have another life in sec school wont help. she doesnt understand from what i've seen.

they don't understand, they think that i have a life dedicated wholey to CJ already, so THEY DONT UNDERSTAND. i will just subcomb to whatever fate i led myself into. i havent gone out in almost a year. cause i said i commit to several things. i said i can cope and i did. i made space for all these things, i did. if i did it last year, i can do it again. don't think for one second that i will give in and crumble, no matter how hard the tasks i receive i will rejoice in it and praise God for giving me such a difficult task in the end, all these won't break me down, i will survive and i will show u that i can cope.

i am commited and i will forgo many things. just you wait, i'm not that DSA girl u assume cant do nothing. i can do all that i promised cause i have God, i will forgo my social life first just so u know, so friends i may not be able to go out but i will still try. fix a time first, if i can make it i will. i will be strong, i will rejoice. GRAHHHH.