CHRIST THE LORD;;my saviour

Saturday, July 04, 2009

HE IS MY STRENGTH.

I'M PROUD TO SAY EXAMS ARE OVER & I'M SO GONNA FLOP MOST OF THEM. HAHAHA.

anyways, thanks ya'll. hahaha. i never thought my blog still got ppl read one! :O
so many things happened. like exams and in the midst of it cel grp thing. grah.

well, i think i will put on hold the qt-format thingy, den do proper cell group topical studies first. cause i think asking so much commitment out of them to do this every day thing should be quite a feat for them i think. cause like i dun think they don't do qt everyday already. well, maybe some of them but honestly, can u say u have diligently been doing qt EVERYDAY, WITH the thought in mind that u are doing this to make your life fuller? honestly i would say NO. what would be YOUR answer?

anyway, this cell grp topical thingy is like we focus on some topics every week or month. haha. and seriously. NOT PUT IT ON A SUNDAY. the purpose of this bible study at first is to STRENGTHEN and to ENFORCE our faith and our spiritual growth. so like what mushi said: ONE sermon for ONE week, pluss the everyday qt which i'm sure not everyone does everyday. so to have it on a sunday after church won't really be realistic to the purpose of the cell grp thing AT first, it'll be more like sharing and learning together. thats what the aim of the cell group thing.

so i was very disappointed when they wanted it on sunday, cause if u think abt it, to have it on sunday? no.1: usually u are too tired and many ppl disappear after church with their parents or have plans, cause ITSA A SUNDAY. we all usually wanna sleep the afternoon away or have family thingy on sunday OR go out with friends. honestly, do u think u can bring the correct attitude to cell grp if we have it on such a sunny hot sweaty sunday when u alr so tired after lunch. FRANKLY I WOULD SAY SO MYSELF, NO.

so i think i'm just gonna send an email to my beloved cell grp members and LITERALLY set a day and time on a WEEKDAY. i'm so sry peiwei :(, i'll just email u what we did, so u can read it if u wanna. or i can email those who didnt turn up then. cause i want the cell grp to LEARN smth and CARRY it our in life, i really dun want this to be some slip-shot thing. it really breaks my heart to see such an unwilling attitude.

so like i'm really not forcing anyone to come, it'll be open to all who can make it. and those who wants to come just come. and remember come with a WILLING heart to LEARN more about God, not a half-hearted mindset. cause understanding God' word and all, u cannot be thinking about something else, i'm sure God wasn't thinking abt someone else when he was creating u wasn't he? thats how much he loves each and everyone of us for who we are, cause he was created us and has a PERFECT plan for us. and this perfect plan install for us is really what he wants us to do with our life. many ppl always asks: what do u want me to do for u Lord? i simply think of it this way, God has a plan install for us, and through our everyday life it will seem clearer and clearer. its really just putting your faith in him. fully surrendering to him, whatever trails that appear in your life, its a lesson from God. :D

like i also had like a sudden revelation about my life and all, like not sudden la, i already figured it out long ago. but it always comes back to haunt me in the negative way :( like sometimes i wonder how come my friendships can never last longer than a year or 2. like i have many friends but honestly, i can tell u i really have no best friends, except some people la. but i also drifting from them liao. =.= and its not just friendship, its also like how some friends of mine are my friends because they are troubled den they talk to me. and there are also those who doesnt take me seriously, and when i'm serious they make a joke out of it. making it so difficult to talk. it really makes me so irritated that i just literally shut up, cause i know that i'm like emotionally charged, i would really flare up at you if u cont it, so i just chage the topic if i must and move on. i dun wanna pick a fight with anyone seriously. and i guess i must really thank God for giving me the ability to put it aside and still stand them and talk to them nicely, draining every ounce of my patience. i absolutely think God has provided so much for me and there is only so little i can do right now as a student. so unworthy of his love, his mercy and grace. and like i wanna do more but i dunno how. so during lifeimpact i decided since i hold kinda like a assistant leader in macaroni, maybe i could do something abt the spiritual side. and really God is EVERYTHING, as long as we love God, we will want to know more abt him, so we will wanna come tgt and talk abt him will we not? so we can learn more about him, this in a sense can be done through cell grp sharing, and learning God's word at the same time.

i really feel since God himself is so wonderful, we don't need so much bonding activites to bond the cell, as long as we have God in our hearts and a willingness to know him more, we can reach greater heights tgt, and won't that already be bonding? cause we already have a common goal, to love God more right? so what's the point in having the cell thing i suggested? its to bond right? more importantly to learn abt God more. the common goal. :)

anyway, like seriously, i have so many friends, but no close friends. and honestly, i always appear insignificant to my friends until they need someone to talk to then they wil see me, so i may appear insignificant to my friends, but in God's eyes, i am more than that. i am his child :D so be it if i dun have so many good friends, i'm happy where i am, i have God.