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God's Girl
Huilun
13.10.1992
Singapore Life Church
GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU





Provided by International Bible Society


Monday, November 09, 2009
this world is a scary place

iffys and maybes- and insecurities.
these things make me confuse. but also acts as my safety net i guess. make me be more cautious.
but then, thinking too much also has its disadvantages. like duh.

"talk on the phone also shout, come home u still shout"
"i where got shout? i'm not shouting"

i dun want to end up like that. i guess this makes me so scared and all. scared i'll end up with the wrong person. like they all said. scared i'll end up like that. i want a happy one, one that will last REAAAL long. till we're old and grey.

but i'm scared.
scared this might happen, what if that happens? what if this happens. i donn't know how i'l react. i don't even know my own reaction, and being the emotional me, won't be able to think straight. i'll only be able to do that if it happens before and i calm myself down. but i dunno if i'll get a second try.

and this fear, its eating me.
like i dunno. in a new place, new ppl- like how...
so what if...

all the ifs.
but i guess i will only know if i try. but i think the timespan spent tgt is so short.
everything is so fast.

i'm such a horrible person when it comes to this.

that aside, sunday i learnt so much,
i guess God was really telling me so much in one day.
hard lesson learnt.
thats what u get from praying: "dear lord, teach me a lesson if i go astray from what u want me to do!"
but it was a good lesson to learn from.

next, i think its good being sensitive to my surroundings?
but sometimes its kinda grahhh being so sensitive.
i can take in a criticism just make sure i'm not in that bad a mood.
i always try my best to be in a good mood to get myself ready to face criticism.
but like when i'm down down in the dunps, the criticism will hit me like a car on a highway.

and finally. new song from a horrible movie. its really nice.



Through The Trees - Low Shoulder
All alone in an empty room
nothing left but the memories of when I had my best frIend
I don't know how we ended up here
I don't know but it's never been so clear
We made a mistake, dear.
And I see the broken glass in front of me
I see your shadow hangIng over me
and your face, I can see...

Through the trees
I wIll find you;
I wIll heal the ruins left inside you
cuz I'm stIll here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathIng now...
untIl I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees

I remember how we used to talk
about the places we would go when we were off
and all that we were gonna find.
And I remember our seeds grow
and how you cried when you saw
the first leaves show.
The love was pouring from your eyes.

So can you see
the branches hanging over me?
Can you see
the love you left inside of me?
in my face
can you see?

Through the trees
I will find you;
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
Cuz I'm still here breathing now
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
until I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees.

Cuz you're not coming back
And you're not coming back
No-oo.. No-oo.. No
You're not coming back...
You're not coming back...

Take my breath as your own
Take my eyes to guide you home

Cuz I'm still here breathing now...
I'ms till here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
And I'm still here...

Cuz I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
And I'm still here..

Cuz I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
And I'm still here..

But you're not coming back.
And you're not coming back.
Cuz you're not coming back
until I'm set free
Go quiet through the trees.

;;never expected anyone to see that side of me and you did & i'm glad you did.