CHRIST THE LORD;;my saviour

Friday, December 25, 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS:)

LUCKY BY JASON MRAZ & COLBIE CALLIAT! :)
super nice :)

haha. merry christmas everyone, this yr i wont send sms, i dun have enough. hahahaha.
fb la fb :) haha.
i'm so busy recently. no time to blog! :(

anyway, watched avatar 3d TODAY! haha.
with steve, jea, ian, keith & ziyi! hahaha.
nice movie :)

been so long since i watched a movie in a cinema with friends. haha.
this christmas doesnt feel so christmass-y after all. :(
i kinda miss being so busy with carolling every yr at orchard. cause everytime we do, have that christmassy feeling.

so many things in my headd :(
chool, church, choir, choir, camp, taiwan, school, church rally, rally rally, camp, camp camp.

i havent add hol hw.
and i havent really got time for family and friends now. so duh, i'll wanna spend more time w stupid guy. haha. but i can spend time with sillyboy and friends at the same time but i cant do that despite how much i want to cause some ppl just dun allow me to share my life with them. and that makes huilun sad:( hahahaha.

anywayyy, bah. i hope next yr christmas better la. who knows how much have changed since then.

packing for 1520 camp! gonna leave tml night to sleepover at church w weikeng and his friend. i'll be like the only girll! :( hello, sillyboy if u can come pei me a while come okay.

30th still got choir workshop siaaaaa. ://
i hope i still got my voice. need to prepare quite a lot of stuff. grahh. GOD HELP ME :)

this christmas rally this yr for eng serv was really good, i'm talking abt the sermon. somehow keep thinking maybe God telling something. of course God telling me smth la. but everybody interpret what the sermon says to them differently no matter how generic it may be. hahaha. i think thats one way God talks to us. :)

the rev was saying how wonderful God is! :) a warrior, a father. counsellor.
the content kinda ans quite a lot of questions in my head and slapped me a few times. haha.
like the part when she said abt seeking other's approval. grahh. i think i do that a loe. but those ppl mean a lot to me. not approval actually. more like sincerity or... i dunno honesty. and like when she talked abt we can never be good enough to deserve a present and that God gives us this gift because we should NOT get it. i mean like thats the main reason why i decided to live a life more grounded by God! :)

and know what, its very stupid stupid that i have to do things in the dark, afraid of what people might say. so stupid. okay,i'm stupid to allow it. gah. why am i so affected by them. sheesh. but i guess it takes one step at a time hurhur. dunno if its right or not, and if i say it feels right, some ppl will say dun only use feeling us brain also. okay lor, so u think i don't use my brian, don't think logically, don't consider factors or consequences har? puhh leesseee...
and if u are my friend you would know i won't mak that cause i prefer to share my lng, i won't do that cause i prefer to share my life with ppl i care and love. but if u don't let me to share! andand u treat me "normally" and still live daily with me as if u are "okay" with it, when i know u arent lurh. so it really breaks my heart cause if u are my friend or u think u know me you should know i would have considered loads of things and that i rather u ask me or whoever is involved to the face or at least send one brave soul to ask. communication is very impt in friendship and everything else. its really very painful to have to face those that i teat dearly to me when i know that they arent really being themselves cause of some thing. it just doesnt feel the same anymore.
yar everything is spinning so fast, i didnt stop to slow down. but why is everything so fast? yes, i obviously have a part to play also, but if i cant talk to my friends abt it anymore, who else can i go to. and obviously, i'll end up getting closer to that only person i can go to. so duh, thats one reason why everything is so fast.
and also right all that talk is making this awkward sometimes and making it look as if when we hang out tgt, we'll be some exclusive ting. gah. like real. if u know me, u'll know i dun like to be exclusive casue i am suppose to continue living life with my surroundings also and not just one person or whatever. well, bottom line i rather hurted by them.

okay, maybe i sound like a bimbo to you, but there's more to this than meets the eye
i'm gonna miss ya!
I SEE YOU!<3!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Prayer always comes first

i shouldnt have.
this isn't supposed to happen.
this wasnt prayed for.
i shouldnt be facing this problem.

everything is supposed to be fine.
if only it was God willing.

i cant trust anyone of them anymore with things like this. acting like everything is fine will be difficult. but i will be able to do it. its crap when someone promises you everything will be fine and time will make everything better. its crap when someone says you don't need to go through some things alone. cause the hard truth is that they cant be there 24/7. and there are simply things which you can't tell anyone. there are simply thngs which u must face alone. like it or not.

i dreamt a nice dream last night, that everything was fine and i was happy.

fast- evrything was speeding. too fast and i forgot to pray.

"Oh, I'm going my own way,
my faith has lost its strength again"
-Demi Lovato, World of Chances

Saturday, December 05, 2009

12 days!

Matthew 24:12-13 (New Living Translation)
12 Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. 13 But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

the other day when i did my qt i remembered that being angry is also a sin, so today onwards i'm going to tryyyy TRY to not get pissed off. haha. okay at least not tooo angry.

many things happened (for the worst) but in the big picture i guess its not that bad.
anyway,this verse popped into my head these few days.
no one ever said serving God was going to be easy.but i'm just mentally,emotionally drained and all.

but thank God for funnd-raising,i hope tml's 1hrP&Wwill be alright! :(

anyways!
12 days starts nowwww. :(