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God's Girl
Huilun
13.10.1992
Singapore Life Church
GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU





Provided by International Bible Society


Friday, May 31, 2013
It's time.

I think it has reached a milestone in our relationship, this relationship in which God so graciously gave to us. He made us anew tgt and gave us smth so special whenever I try to explain to others the dynamics of our relationship no one fully understands. Haha.

No wonder when we strayed from God we strayed from each other.. I realized I have been using a love I know from God, a love that not many people fathom and a love that only my fellow Christians understand to love you. I never knew how different it is from man-made love until now. Cause I now know that God is in control and God will continue to bless us if he allows and if he wills it.

So it's time we return to him. Surrender everything to him. All the stupid and silly things, all the hurtful and painful. We just offer back to him and allow him to change us. And like how we cant fix anything with our might like how we are trying so hard to do now. really, by our own might we cant fix it. look what happened to us. haha. quite a laugh. only God can fix us. only God can heal us and only God can give us the peace we need.

I must admit. I totally forgot how much I loved God and how much He loved me and how much we loved each other through God's love for a while. Now i remember. i remember everything:)
All this paper chase.. It really it distracts you. No matter how strong I was in Christ!:( sorry God. Thank you for forgiving me.

And today was amazing. God was amazing once again. And He spoke to me through Wayne today. Haha. It was really amazing how he chanced upon me in holland V. Out of all the places he bumped into me in the ulu corner of ya Kun hidden in a building in holland V. I thank God for that:) I thank God for him.

Wayne reminded me abt lifting everything to God and surrendering everything to him. I guess in a way God has been prepping me. Somehow Peiling gave me the album for 相信有爱，就有奇迹 last night when she said she would pass it to me on Sunday:) and somehow this morning I got really addicted to this song 主你是我盼望。I mean the lyrics touched my heart but I didn't know why until now. Sigh.

Reminding me to keep hope and faith in God. And somehow I don't believe it will end. Maybe I need to pray about it more. But right now. I somehow feel you will come back to me. Cause God placed us together not for fun but to grow and to love. Somehow I feel God will guide us back together:) remembering how we were so good together while we grew spiritually really made me fall in love with you all over again. I know it's there somewhere.

I don't know if you would see this and idk if you feel the same. But I know that God loves me. And I know God loves you. I know you are in quite a private party now. So maybe this space is more for us to think about God's role in all this. And why it happened to us:) I think this break was about discovering our individual relationships with God and how much we have been lagging behind. And discovering Him in our relationship when we are together. Somehow we allowed the evil to break us apart!>:( haha. But we can always return to God:) I also realized that we haven't been praying together. Neither have we been growing spiritually together. So maybe it's about time we do it.

But I know you still need your time. So in God's timing. I pray for myself, and I pray for you. I pray for us. That God can reveal the road and the path for you to choose in your own timing. And somehow as I type that, there is no shame, there is no pain in my heart. But only peace. Peace that God will guide us, God will guide you and God will guide me.

it's about time, He is calling us to come back to Him. And worship Him together with our relationship. Start a-new, start a-fresh and start with God:)

Take all the time you need. I mean it.
For all my mistakes for all my terrible terrible actions. I pray that you can find it in your heart to love again me like God loves us. And remember to return to Him cause we both need to do it again.

So, Take all the time you need. Cause only in God's timing will we meet again. I love you.