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God's Girl
Huilun
13.10.1992
Singapore Life Church
GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU





Provided by International Bible Society


Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I am okay

I think my blog has been rather misleading. Haha. It has been filled with my emo thoughts and not so much how I have recovered from these thought.

So anyway, I just wanna say:
I am okay. I am fine. Not great but okay.

I have come to terms with what God has placed in my life, removed from my life and blessed me with. Like what my mum says "you have me, you have your crazy sisters and a brother who watches out for you" I have my family. Regardless. I am grateful for them. Despite everything.

All my friends keep telling me I cannot keep hoping you will come back, I can be optimistic but they feel I am being TOO optimistic. But I tell you guys, I am NOT, I have God. I understand I shouldn't be too optimistic. But I am optimistic not because I think the outcome would be ideal for me. I am optimistic in what God has planned for me. I believe WHATEVER the outcome I can rejoice, I can have joy and be happy in God's will and direction. I may take some time to recover but I know ultimately, it's God's decision and God's plan. And His plan is the BEST plan for me. I know this is hard to understand, finding strength in NOT myself but in some other "imaginary" being. But I tell you guys, my God is FAR FAR from "Imaginary". My God is REAL. My God is MIGHTY. And He PROVIDES. I know that he will provide. I know he will take care of me. 

After these two weeks I have been angry, depressed, vulnerable, broken, helpless, despondent, happy and distraught. And God has been there very step of the way. My friends have been too. 

I want to thank my NTU girls:) Who just cares so much for me. Worried so much for me. 

And also My churchies sisters and brothers. These are the people in church who don't know what's going on but let me cry. Let me know I can be strong w God and I can rely and find strength with Him. And I say again, these people from church don't know the full story. They just know I needed to cry and be broken and they prayed for me. Prayed and brought me closer to God:) 

So yeah, I am okay. I didn't expect so many people to know I'm upset. But God put it in their hearts to care for me. And I really needed people to care for me and to pray for me. So yeah. I am okay. I just miss him. A lot. But I know I can't do anything abt it. That's why my Goodbye, Delete post. 

I'm still just hoping for what I hope for very strongly. But praying that God's will be done. 

So I think it's pretty apt to end this post with the Lord's Prayer:

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On Earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day out daily bread
And forgive our trespasses as we have forgiven those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, 
But deliver us from the evil
For thy is the Kingdom, the Glory and power
Forever and ever.
Amen

我们在天上的父
原人都尊你的名为圣
原你的国降临
原你的旨意行在地上如同行在天上

我们日用的饮食
今日赐给我们
免我们的债
如同我们免了人的债
不叫我们遇见试探
救我们脱离世界

因为国度，权柄，荣耀 全是你的
直到永远

啊们