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God's Girl
Huilun
13.10.1992
Singapore Life Church
GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU





Provided by International Bible Society


Saturday, August 24, 2013
bouncing back and forth

I guess everything is still very fresh for me. Very raw. Very new. Very unfamiliar.

I wouldn't say I'm not okay. Somehow whenever I feel like I should not be doing that anymore, I find it compulsively hard to do what I would advice myself. 

But I have decided against myself for the first couple of times already and I feel like I can continue doing this. The strength again doesn't come from me but from God. 

i am so so weak. i just keep bouncing back and forth, keep checking and reflecting and checking and checking if i am truly doing things for Jesus or for .....
seriously what are we doing anything for? for God's glory. 
i really really just want to live my life for God and God alone.

Sometimes I think I just need to stay silent and try very hard to stay away from the world as much as possible. I wanna love God so much everything on earth seems like hate cause God's love is greater than ANYTHING.

John 15:13:)

I am thankful everyday. I am thankful that I am so close to Jesus I feel like crying from joy sometimes. Like now. Cause whenever I feel so helpless and bad and upset, he fills my heart so much more and more evidently to me now cause suddenly my eyes are opened. 

Really, how can you refuse Him now. Even when I type that I just feel like tearing. How can you refuse Him at all?