Huilun 13.10.1992 Singapore Life Church GMS(P),GMS(S),CJC, NTU Provided by International Bible Society
THE A's - AMAZING
Adela ^^ THE B's - BELOVED
BRIGDET(BABEfromCJ) THE C's - CAPABLE
CANDICE <3! THE D's - DELIGHTFUL
Daryl<3! ~IG25 THE E's - ENTERTAINING THE G's - GLAMOROUS
Gabriel Lim THE H's - HIGH-GRADED THE J's - JEM
JEANETTE(KOBI) THE K's - KNOWLEDGEABLE
KERIN<3 THE L's - LOVELY THE M's - MAGNIFICENT
MUK mark THE N's - NATURALLY NICE
Nicholas THE O's - ONE-OF-A-KIND THE P's - PRICELESS THE Q's - Q-UTEYs!
Qiuting
RachAel.choirJR THE S's - SUPERB
Sandra! THE T's - TERRIFIC THE V's - VIVACIOUS THE W's - WONDERFUL
Weiting<3 THE X's - XTRAORDINARY
XIANGXIANG ying<3 THE Y's - YOUTHFUL
Y. Jiamin THE Z's - ZESTY
Zihow 弟弟!
April 2004
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Wednesday, September 18, 2013
its time to leave, http://blessedlighthouse.wordpress.com/
❤kodaline ❤
AHHHH ❤❤❤
KODALINE. TOO MAGICAL. ❤❤❤❤
I CANNOT RESIST. melt my body and soul and heart away whenever i hear them singing ❤❤❤
HIGH HOPES
Broken bottles in the hotel lobby
Seems to me like I'm just scared of ever feeling it again
I know it's crazy to believe in silly things
It's not that easy
I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started
But I only got myself to blame for it, and I accept the now
It's time to let it all go, go out and start again
But it's not that easy
But I've got high hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, ooohhh when it all comes to an end
But the world keeps spinning around
And in my dreams, I make the ghosts of all the people who've come and gone
Memories, they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon
My evil is just staring at the barrel of a gun
And I do believe in
Believe I've got high hopes
It takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, ooohhh when it all comes to an end
But the world keeps spinning
And the world keeps spinning around
High hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, ooohhh
And the world keeps spinning
Yeah this world keeps spinning
How this world keeps spinning around
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Hope in the Lord
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Today, this verse spoke to me in my moment of weakness. brought tears to my eyes and gave me hope once again. what can i do without God. honestly. :) feeling so blessed and loved and at peace now.
God is so amazing. i just cannot emphasize how amazing He is. while asking for a friend to pray for me, as he read the prayer written for me, i couldnt help but feel so joyful yet so much like crying. its really quite a ride. with God. :) nothing is boring. everything is beautiful. even pain and sorrow. because my debt is paid, its been paid in full by the precious blood that Jesus spilled.
it was really amazing not only cause i felt God's presence but also cause as i was reading the prayer, oceans will part was playing in the background. and JUST nice it was playing the slow and meditative part of the song.
my friend had written that God may continue to whisper into my ear the promises of the Lord just as i heard "At the Whisper of your call" from the song.
my friend had written that i may continue to look to the plans the Lord has for me as i heard "Hope will rise".
my friend had written that i can continue to rejoice in the face of my storm and that the Lord will make his presence known to me as i heard "Glory Shown"
and immediately i thought "Lord your will be done." and i heard the last line of the song "In my life your will be done"
all these happened to quickly and it was just amazing when i realized what had just happened. i couldnt help but tear and smile :)
God is good. and after it all, i felt like just thought of this verse :) so just felt like sharing it here. haha. and the song i wanna share, just really gave me so much joy :) tonight. i sleep without bitterness, without heartache, but with joy. a joy i can only find from God! :) <3<3<3<3
Ephesians 4:26-31
26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. 29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
VERSE
Man of sorrows Lamb of God
By His own betrayed
The sin of man and wrath of God
Has been on Jesus laid
Silent as He stood accused
Beaten mocked and scorned
Bowing to the Father's will
He took a crown of thorns
CHORUS
Oh that rugged cross
My salvation
Where Your love poured out over me
Now my soul cries out
Hallelujah
Praise and honour unto Thee
VERSE
Sent of heaven God's own Son
To purchase and redeem
And reconcile the very ones
Who nailed Him to that tree
BRIDGE
Now my debt is paid
It is paid in full
By the precious blood
That my Jesus spilled
Now the curse of sin
Has no hold on me
Whom the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
VERSE
See the stone is rolled away
Behold the empty tomb
Hallelujah God be praised
He's risen from the grave
Sunday, September 15, 2013
mid-autumn gospel rally
I decided, i shall upload my sermon notes for today's mid-autumn gospel rally :)
14/09 - Rev Caleb Soo: 完全的爱 Everyone wants completeness, wholeness, and perfection. Studies, work, relationships, family, money, etc. even love. but many people dont realize many things. many people take love and use it as an opportunity to raise themselves above others, tearing others down to build yourself up. neither is it changing others and asking them to change. many people ask others to change their ways, their habits and their attitudes. but often times they forget that they themselves have a thorn in their eye. but it is not "i change you: or "you change me" it is allowing the spirit to change you. to change another it has to come from within, a love that is so strong that can create change even without asking. when there is a love so strong that comes from within, the other party would change not because you asked but because he/she can feel your care and love and respond to the change. (meaning the change is a good and calculated and for the better kind of change) a lot of times we all TRY very hard to love each other. in mushi's words: 辛苦的爱对方 so the love becomes very painful. because when we try to love each other in a "let me change you" way, it becomes very difficult, because you are not letting go of the person to look at the thorn in your own eye. we must all learn a "letting go" kind of love. by letting the person go, that is maturing. by changing YOURSELF, thats growing. so as long as you change yourself, that is growth. and through your growth the others around you will grow as well. this kind of love- changing yourself and fixing yourself; this is a love only received through God's love. simply put, in order to love someone else, the love must come from within right? and if we keep trying with our own might to love, its like trying to take candy out of an empty jar in the end. but with God, he keeps filling our jars with many candys. so in that way, we dont get tired. but thats besides the point. the point is: that God's love is a love without expectations, but acceptance. if you cant love yourself (the way God loves you), you cant love anyone else properly. love needs to be LEARNT. love is a verb. love needs to be molded; put through the fire, put through the rain, put through a car crash, even go on life support. in essence love is nothing without a little boom. love needs to be learnt. not only to love the flaws but also to love the beauty. what is love? is it by our speech and actions? No. thats a "self-seeking" love. if you seek others to say things and do things for you to express their love, isnt that the same as asking someone to say wonderful things about you non stop? this self-seeking love, seeks fulfillment in oneself. this is somewhat like a self-fish kind of love. like roses, if a man loves a rose he will learn to love the thorns instead of cutting them away. he will learn to see the beauty in them and the usefullness of the. in the same way, you have your own thorns, we all do. we must first learn to love our own thorns before we love anything or anybody else. love your thorns first. love is also the will to give. love needs to go though the bad and come out strong. when Jesus died on the corss, he GAVE his life for us. before he died he said: "father forgive them" why did he say that? "for they do not know what they have done"- because we don't know how great the sins we are doing, because we dont know how bad it is, because we dont see God's picture and we try to take control of our lives. this is an acepting and giving love. God loves us. accepts us- sinners; all unconditionally. what then is unconditionally? nowadays we have been disillusioned by fairytales and tv shows. the world has given us a special meaning to 白马王子. so we keep looking for that stereotypical prince charming we dream about. but over time this disillusion will come to reality and there will be the death of our dream. so thats where people give up, they divorce and thats why divorce rates are going higher and higher up. a real marriage isnt this way. in a real marriage, you will learn and disover new things everyday. like how in the beginning of any relationship, when it's still the dating and chasing game. everyone remembers everything. the anniversaries, the promises the words and looks exchanged. but once they get married, they forget and get comfortable and they start finding reasons to be angry with each other. for the broken promises the fact that no special looks are exchanged, or that old issues come resurface. But God's love teaches us otherwise. His love teaches us to forgive and let go and to embrace each other. to say: "you know what i did was wrong but yet you still love me" so through acceptance we grow more and more and mature more and more. love needs to be molded, to go through hardships. the biggest way to grow? communication. it is through communication we find the discovery in marraiges. things i never used to know when we were dating. things i find harder to love about. communication in a relationship is a form of knowing one another more and discovering more of each other. communication serves as avenues to learn to love each other. communication gives rise to more understanding and more understanding gives rise to more tolerance and acceptance. hence growth spiritually, emotionally and more importantly together, in a relationship. in the end. love is a type of life. the further we are away from God the harder it is for us to taste God's love. its like knowing His love i experience it, thats why i know what love is. so love needs experience. i need God's love and forgiveness and mercy so that i will know how to show that to others around me. especially to someone God will prepare for me. using God's love to fuel your love for others, especially YOURSELF. with a love that loved the man with leprosy, the woman who had many husbands or the blind man or the love that loved the people who nailed him to the cross. when we can learn to love ourselves the way Jesus loves us we will truly be free. Free to appreciate the small things in our lives. and to know that there is nothing greater, no issue bigger than to love and forgive and to accept each other. we will know how to be joyful not happy and things of the earth wont matter much anymore. because we are satisfied and filled with God's love. fullfillment in God's love!!! sometimes we really just need to learn how to come to God and ask him to forgive us, forgive our actions, forgive our shame, forgive our guilt. and ask him to enter our hearts all over again. and ask Him to steer our path in lives. Lord i need you, oh i need you. take away the things that make me satisfied. i only want to be satified with your love. and your love alone. only then can i truly be free :) <3 font="">3>
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
friends :'/
Phoebe: Well isn’t he your friend? Don’t you want him to be happy?
Rachel: Yes. Phoebe: So? Rachel: I just y'know, I didn’t expect him to be this happy so soon. Rachel: Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else? Ross: You know what, hey! You're the one who ended it! Remember? Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you! Not because I stopped loving you Ross: You still love me? Rachel: No. Ross: You still love me. Rachel: Oh yeah, so, you love me! Ross: No, nnnnn. What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together? Rachel: No. Maybe. I don't know. Ross, I still can't forgive you for what you did, I can't, I just, but sometimes when I'm with you I just, I feel so... Ross: What?! Rachel: I just, I feel, I just..
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
awake my soul
was talking to lydia yesterday, i realized that i REALLY only blog when the grief sets in.
WELL. haha. thats quite often. but not everyday actually. cause it may LOOK like that on my blog. but its not really. haha. i am not happy at all. not a bit. i am Joyful. i have always been one and i still am. i just think there has been a load of sad-posts on my blog. so.. its just this week, a lot of people have been caring for me. its not a bad thing really, just awake feelings and memories that i have already shoved aside. so the typical conversation would go this way: caring person: so how are you? me: [shock] err, okay la :) i'm fine :) caring person: [give me a disbelieving look] are you sure? me: yeah! yeah i'm okay really, coping la! :) caring person: [dont believe me even more] hmmmmm... me: hahah! i'm fine la.. really just learning to see everything in God's perspective. okay over here there will be two types of reaction, depending if the person is a christian. christian caring person: oh! thats good thats good.. happy for you :) non-christian caring person: hmmm [the person has made up her/his mind that i am pretending to be okay] well usually the memories and feelings come up when i have to convince someone else that i am fine. and when the person doesnt believe me. as you can see from a lot of my posts. i become very skeptical about myself also. so...... wheeeeee. its like great that i have so many people caring for me. but i guess what upsets me the most is the people i hope to care for me aint caring. or at least scared, or just assume i am not fine and dont do anything. i just think its all very annoying la. sigh. but like i am very grateful and am very blessed cause there are so many people from CBC (and i alw thought i dont really have a lot of friends in CBC) who actually ask me out and treat me a drink of some cake or smth. just hang out and wanna htht with me :) so touched. God is really so good. so i am very happy. happy that my soul is taken care of by God. i feel that a lot of times many people dont understand how or why i am dealing with this. and i tell them. by God's grace, mercy and love. so even more they dont understand. but the best thing is that i hope through this the people around me can see God's mercy and love radiating out of me!:D i hope at least. so well, this post is really about putting a mark in my blog that i am really okay. i'm not happy actually. not at all. i'm joyful.
Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul
Monday, September 09, 2013
all i want
well, that does it! this is so annoying. this is so so so so so so annoying.
WHY GOD WHY. coincidences, unplanned bumping in and brushes and touches and looks and words exchanging. why God why. whenwesaidourlastgoodbye,i died a little bit inside. this song has really just been appearing to me again and again and again and again throughout this period of time. not cause its popular, i guess maybe its just cause its how i have been feeling kinda, i mean everyday it gets lesser and lesser (does it really?). the lyrics just too beautiful.. the musicality of the song just flows like liquid pouring out of the soul.. may its just me, but this song really brings out this part of me i have been trying to suppress maybe? or trying to let go. or trying to ignore. i dont know, i really dont know what it does but i just know it makes me quite sad. and does this indicate that i havent let go? i guess?
my favourite answer on whether i am okay or not is still waiyee's answer. okay not okay.
cause, i really just in the middle of everything. in the process of everything.
this in the middle stage, makes me so worried that i'm stuck. or pretending to move but in actual fact am not even moving. i am very scared for myself. so in that sense, i'm not okay yet.
but i really am fine, cause i know God is with me and He loves me. and thats all i need.
huilun, he doesnt love you anymore. he does not love you. HE DOES NOT.
Saturday, September 07, 2013
okay not okay
i keep getting this. okay not okay.
honestly i dont even know if i am okay anymore. church people all say i am. school mates all say i am. hall mates not so much. close friends say okay not okay also. honestly i think no one really knows if i am okay. sometimes seeing and hearing life makes me wonder if a thought was ever spared for me. i feel pity. pity. sadness. cause life is so empty. if people dont stand up or at least allow others to pull them up, i guess they will never know what is a complete life. with or without God. i pity. i pity. i pity. i have God. my life is complete. what about you. 求主怜悯
Friday, September 06, 2013
small things
those little things.
walking to church and accidentally bumping into you. coming back from outside hall to bump into you. washing laundry and bumping into you. going down to find a friend and walking into your smell, and watching you leave. then i had to watch friends with my breakfast and this came up: Rachel: No. I can't. You're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me. Ever. God, and now I can't stop picturing you with her. I can't. It doesn't matter what you say or what you do, Ross. It's just changed everything. Forever. times like this just makes me kneel down and just pray. Isaiah 40:30-31
New International Version (NIV)
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Thursday, September 05, 2013
secular music
today, i had the whole day to myself.
i didnt want to listen to secular music. but it came out, all those songs i use to love. and i thought to myself, maybe i'll give it a try. WELL, i think the songs now have lesser and lesser meaning to how i feel in my heart. thats a good sign right? but of course, there are moments where i feel like it relates to how i feel about all this in general. dont get me wrong, its not a bad thing. i feel okay after the song is over. so an additional note, i was feeling quite sad at the point of time when i sand everything has changed for yizhen's birthday. but today a different part of the lyrics spoke to me: all i know is we said hello hi! how you doing! so dust off your highest hopes, no more hope in you but hope in God! and everything has changed AMEN! all i know is a pouring rain, let the rain wash away all the pain and sufferings! that i can start anew! all i know is a knew found grace. AMEN! grace and mercy from God! all my days i'll know your face like no duh, there was too much to just SHOVE away. all i know since yesterday is everything has changed. for the better :D
Drifters
Today I started on Isaiah. I hope I can finish it:) and read Jeremiah next! So excited can't wait!
That's beside the point, but well today I was pondering over this: have I drifted so far from God until he categorized me under a "lost cause" or do I know personally anyone like that? Really quite scary actually the first chapter. Quite a bit talking abt perishing and those ppl who know but don't do, the punishment from God is really smth.. So it's scary. But I also know that God is merciful and loving. So in the end, I am really in no place to judge or to categorize ppl. Only God can, cause in the end, in 1john, there are people that don't belong to God.. So we can never know all these because we are not him! So by faith, I will live and by faith I will carry out his works. And by faith I am hopefully not in that region;) by faith I love Jesus!:)
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